12 Tips for Becoming a Better Writer
- Drink more.
- Shake off any friends you once had.
- Stare at people for a long time, letting cigarette smoke diffuse into your eyes.
- When you meet people ask things like ‘How many times on average do you masturbate per day?’ or ‘When was the last time you shit and did you look at the dirtied toilet paper?’ just to gage their reaction and let them know that you are a writer now - you have no time, patience or room for sanity.
- Discard all pretences of reading other writers’ work or maintaining contact with family members.
- Experiment with drugs and sexuality. Maybe even start shouting and shaking your hands a lot like Ginsberg.
- Always dress as if ready for a burlesque performance at any time; never actually take your clothes off, though – just allude to it constantly.
- Laugh at people who talk about things as if they actually matter; when proving to them the trivial futility of existence, only quote yourself.
- Be utterly, despicably sure of yourself. Wear it about you eternally.
- Never, ever stay still. Staying still kills people.
- Talk to yourself; there is no better conversation possible.
- Then write something. And never stop writing. Quit your job to write. Write even whilst you’re dancing, whilst you’re talking, whilst you’re drinking, whilst you’re asleep and whilst you’re dead.
A stark dystopian world of insatiable greed and ceaseless distraction is that of young Gustav Klein, a German twenty-three-year-old who has just sold his hotel in Munich. He is looking for nothing more than escape. The modern gadgets which flash their endless advertisements are locking society inside brick houses, allowing them to be dumbed-down further by the money-hungry gremlins in the high towers. Gustav Klein, meanwhile, begins a journey over the myriad terrains of Europe, through countless bottles on the corner of morbid winter streets, coloured by the peculiar characters he encounters, some who bestow upon him their wisdom, some who fuel his disdain, some who ignite his desires, and some who merely drink with him until they hit the floor in a merry temperament. But the hedonistic, aimless rambling must come to end, for life calls. And Gustav lands on a mountain in Scotland, searching for release, for total nature, untouched by the destructive hand of man. But, it seems, it is too late… In this harrowing tale of youthful rebellion, dark nihilism on the road, heavy drinking beatniks, political adversity and the capricious desires of the gluttonous modern man, the reader is taken by the hand firmly and hauled into a bleak world where every man lives for himself. Close your eyes if you are scared, but you cannot escape.
Genre – Travel, Political, Dystopia, Romance
Rating – PG15
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